Janet Boyer on Coast to Coast AM
What a Coin Can "Buy"

The Gift of Friendship

Gossiping 500

As some of you know—especially those of you involved in the online Tarot world—the last two years have been especially difficult for me because of an organized blacklisting and boycotting of me and my work.

Unfortunately, the behind-the-scenes antics went beyond just the blackballing of me, personally.

My “friends” were threatened by these people—put on notice that if they didn’t unfriend me on Facebook, they would be unfriended and marginalized in the little Tarot pond.

Many succumbed to this juvenile style of peer pressure, resulting in unfriending and blocking of my social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter and Google+). Even a glowing LinkedIn endorsement was removed by one of those who caved.

The most recent incident—just a mere week ago—involved my friend and colleague, Laura. You can read (and hear) about it here

They picked on the wrong person this time—and ballsy, fabulous Laura spoke out about the discrimination and spiritualization of such behavior.

Anyway! This post is about friendship. And I thank you, Laura, for being such an intelligent, passionate, articulate and funny colleague. You rock!

Friendship

But I also want to thank three other women who have been instrumental in my healing, recovering and comeback this year.

Amanda Donnelly – Amanda, you were one of those threatened for associating with me or daring to support my work. Yet, you refused to kowtow. Not only that, you wrote a blog post about feeling guided to gift someone with a rare, out-of-print Tarot of the Cloisters (a deck I’ve pined for). My spidey-sense joked with you in the comments “Hey, thanks, I’d love to receive it!” (Sorry for being a Scorpio spoiler!). And here, I guessed right: you wanted to gift me this deck. I still haven’t taken it out of the box after the initial look-through because it feels like a sacred object. (I know, I know…decks are for using! I promise to bring it out soon—especially for meditation and journaling work). I appreciate your friendship, kindness, wisdom, discernment and honesty more than you know. I'm sorry it took me 1 1/2 years (!) to pubicly aknowledge your treasured gift...but I was still processing (and healing). 

Lisa Frideborg Lloyd – Lisa, your courageous public apology on your blog started the process. It let me know that, yes, other people see what’s been going on (including the lies and deception)—and that I wasn’t alone (even though it felt like it). You weren’t trying to be spiritual or “enlightened” by making such a post; in fact, I wouldn’t even have known about it if it weren’t for my blog trackbacks. You were living authentically and honestly. I thank you.

Tierney Sadler – Tierney, one day, when you’re a rich and famous spiritual guru ala Wayne Dyer—I’ll say “I knew her when!” (Yeah, when she ran the Friday night confessionals on FB. Ha!) You were one that was also threatened with “unfriending” and blacklisting. You refused to play the adolescent schoolyard games—and was locked out of a (small) “cool kids” club because of it…even when you had a deck/book about to be published. It’s one thing to stand strong when you don’t have something to “lose”—but quite another when you’re about to make your publishing debut. Your blog is my absolute favorite; it brims with spiritual wisdom that is clear, bright and true. Thank you for the spiritual smack-downs, detached perspective, humor and equanimity you bring to our friendship.

  FB Friends smaller

Also, huge thanks to my Facebook posse who’ve stood strong with encouragement and kindness—Angie (girlfriend!), Samantha, Peter—there are many of you, and I’m afraid I’ll miss someone if I try to list you all. But your public and private notes of love kept me going. 

And, thank you to my new friends who I’ve connected with this year (especially as a result of my appearance on Coast to Coast AM); you are amazing individuals—creative, heart-based, wise and inspiring folks! I’m blessed to know you.

In closing, I thought I’d provide you with some information about the Bully archetype—what it is…and what it isn’t. Read my post about the Bully/Coward dynamic. I also encourage you to read this article (it's about workplace and organizational bullying). Sound familiar?

Also, did you know one of the hallmarks of a bully is the attempt to isolate and humiliate via gossip, slander, intimidation and threats? It’s not always about vocal, public abuse—especially among females, who tend to prefer are more insidious, back door approach.

Be blessed (because you are),

-- Janet

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