You thought this post was going to be about someone Faraway, didn't you? ::wink::
Nah, it's about The Emperor being a dickhead. You know, the Tarot card? I'm hard at work on my upcoming book Naked Tarot (Dodona, Summer 2015) and I wanted to share a brief snippet from my overview of The Emperor. Below, are two renderings of this Tarot card: The first, from our Snowland Deck (my hubby did the art), and the second is from the Universal Waite Tarot:
Warning: if you're offended by F-bombs and lewd prose, you might want to move along.
Dickhead. From the tax-code toting IRS man to the super--strict school principal, the head-up-his-ass boss to the belt-wielding bully father, The Emperor brims with testosterone. He's the one rumbling down the road with his big-as-fuck truck, an obvious overcompensation for his little wee wee and pervasive insecurity (especially when enormous rubber balls dangle from his tailgate). Clipping wings with an air (stink?) of authority, he sits upon his throne with stiff neck and stern visage. But if you look closely, notice that his eyes rove to the side at best--and shift like a crackhead Cylon at worst...
OK, just a taster--not even an appetizer.
So, anyway, after writing the chapter on The Emperor, imagine my surprise when I realized an artist depicted this card as--wait for it--an actual dickhead!
The image above is from The Intuitive Tarot by artist Cilla Conway. Not only is he a dickhead...but, apparently, also a dicktail and a dickdick. (Not to be confused with the child's game duckduck, as in goose).
Thus, if you ever suspected that The Emperor was a dickhead, I'm pleased as punch to assure you that, yes, he most certainly is.
Learning the Tarot can be daunting, but the cards that tend to confound (and dare I say, frustrate and even anger?) are the 16 Court Cards. Most decks call them Page, Knight, Queen and King—which provides even more confusion since (1) we’re not living in medieval times (2) most of us aren’t royalty.
To avoid dealing with them in a reading, some Tarotists remove them from the deck. In fact, several Hay House “Tarot” decks don’t even include Court Cards!
• Dispel misunderstandings about these 16 “face” cards • Teach you a fool-proof keyword system (that will work with any Tarot deck) • Explain the Masculine/Feminine Polarity, Astrological Associations, Chakra Associations, Elemental Associations and more • Provide keywords (on average, 20 key phrases per card), quotes, nicknames, personifications/embodiments for all cards--original, never-shared-before content • Present MBTI/Keirsey correlations for each Court Card, including four beneficial traits and four detrimental traits • Demonstrate how to read the Courts in combination with other cards • Reveal my personal reading secrets (including client case studies)
My info-packed Tarot Court Cards Workshop features seven distinct lessons (over 6,000 words!), emailed to you every Monday—beginning April 14, 2015. You’ll also get a 2-hour live audio class I taught on the Court Cards to reinforce what you’ll learn in the lessons.
And guess what? I’ve created a super secret Facebook groupfor Workshop attendees dedicated exclusively to discussing—and practicing with—Court Cards. Our private group will even feature a photo gallery of Pages, Knights, Queens and Kings from multiple decks, so we can contrast/compare their imagery in light of the Court Card Workshop lessons. Yours truly will be the sole Administrator of the group (meaning, you won’t be passed on to some “underling”, “hired assistant” or “intern”—like some Workshops)—and you can ask me anything! I’m here to help and serve you.
Best yet? I wanted to keep the Understanding the Tarot Court Cards Workshopaffordable, so you’re investment is only $49.95 (around $3 a card—less than a latte at Starbucks!). Registration opens now, and I’m limiting the class to only 20 attendees. So, first come, first served!We're going to have fun--and you're going to (finally) learn how to interpret the Tarot Court Cards and emerge from this Workshop a more confident, able reader.
Yes, Janet, this sounds great! Where do I register?
Why, I'm glad you asked! ::wink:: Visit my website at this link to register ASAP. Remember, first come, first served!
What’s your favorite breakfast food? I have been kicking into a new health regime since the beginning of last year. So my favorite breakfast food, which used to be a huge British fry up complete with black pudding, baked beans, eggs, bacon, pork sausages and toast, is now a wheatgrass shot and a big bowl of fresh fruits like blue berries, strawberries, papaya, kiwi and banana. I have been having that every day for the past year.
Book you’d like to give everyone ( or wish they would read)? My intuitive gifts have recently in the past year or so evolved to a point where I had been exploring my gifts in mediumship. This had helped me to support clients who were managing grief from relatives who had passed on. So there are actually 2 books I wished everyone could read are 1) We Don’t Die: George Anderson’s Conversations With The Other Side by Joel Martin and Patricia Romanowski and 2) Earth Angel by Ross Bartlett.
What makes you laugh? The antics of my husband and son. It’s an Ash family trait not to take life too seriously you see. The fact that we are a family comprising of an intermarriage between a Scot and a Singaporean Chinese means that we end up with gaffes caused by unintended cultural irreverence in our conversations.
Drink of choice? Green tea most days, Sauvignon blanc on cheat days, loads of coffee when I want to slap someone and tumeric and goji-berry tea on days I need to cleanse my Sauvignon blanc and coffee from my system.
Would you rather be hot or cold? Eh? That depends on context. I like hot weather. Nice sunshine and blue skies that makes a nice tan possible. As a person, I am told I am rather hot. Heh heh!
Mountain, beach, desert or forest? The beach without a doubt. It’s the best place to ground myself when I walk barefoot along the shoreline and breathe in the salty air hoping that a seagull doesn’t drop a present on my head.
Favorite color? Orange! I love bright orange! It’s a happy color. Full of sunshine, don’t you think?
Best movie line? Go ahead, make my day – Clint Eastwood in Sudden Impact.
Last thing you splurged on? I tend to splurge on my family, friends and clients. So recently, I bought a lot of crystals related to love/romance/relationship to give away to clients who registered to attend a numerology workshop that I would be conducting to celebrate Valentine’s Day. So I had the following crystals cleansed, blessed and put together in draw-string bags. They were rose quartz for love, moonstone for empathy, chrysocolla for tolerance, aventurine for compassion, charoite for acceptance.
Bonus Q: How did you get into kickboxing? I was introduced to it by my first martial arts coach, Dave Macanlalay who opened my eyes to a new and refreshed interpretation of the words discipline, fitness, honor and respect. I have been training 6 days a week since and saw my health and fitness improving. Gratefully, the universe brought Dave and I together at the right time. I was his intuitive coach while he was my martial arts coach. Incidentally, Kickboxing is a form of grounding for me particularly when I take on a lot of energies from the external environment as a psychic empathy. It has been helping to refresh and revitalize my mind, body and spirit daily so that I could cope with the amount of readings I do for my clients.
Joanna Ash (Sun Goddess Tarot) is a trained and experienced Numerologist, Astrologer and Tarot reader who had obtained her Certified Professional Tarot Reader’s qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America. Her unique ability of combining multiple metaphysical disciplines with her clairvoyance as a psychic intuitive has contributed to a track record of proven accuracy as it lends depth to her insights and advice.
Joanna currently runs her own consultancy based in Singapore, offering intuitive readings in person, via emails and at corporate or private events. She had also been involved in numerous charity fund-raising events, doing readings in aid of Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines, and the Children’s Cancer Foundation in Singapore.
She is a member of the Tarot Association of the British Isles and the American Tarot Association and is an appointed mentor of Tarot protégés on behalf of the association.
What’s your favorite breakfast food? Tacos. Seriously, I can and will eat soft tacos any time of day.
Book you’d like to give everyone (or wish they would read)? The Flora Segunda series by Ysabeau Wilce. Young adult novels that are truly enchanting.
What makes you laugh? My Mother is hilarious. Sometimes we get together and laugh so hard at the stupidest stuff, that is physically hurts.
Song that never gets old: "Southern Cross" by Crosby Stills and Nash makes me smile every time I hear it.
Drink of choice: Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. Decaffeinated.
Would you rather be hot or cold? Heat treats me better than cold. When I'm cold, everything aches.
Mountain, beach, desert, or forest? That's a tough choice! I will have to go with Forest. Especially pine forests, or old oak forests. They instantly relax and inspire me.
Favorite colors? Burgundy Wine, Goldenrod, Teal
Best movie line: “For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great...” Sarah from Labyrinth.
Last thing you splurged on? I used to never wear make-up, but lately I have indulged, because it just makes me look more like me! Recently I bought a whole batch of new make-up, and felt slightly guilty...but it was all on sale!
Bonus Question: If you weren't an artist, what would be your dream job? I'm a bit obsessed with theme parks, so I would love to be a designer of theme park attractions.
Robyn Tisch Hollister is a folk artist, and fortune teller who has been reading tarot and other oracles professionally since she was 13. When she is not engaged in helping people find their truth, she is wandering about the country with her spouse, performing at Renaissance Festivals as a puppeteer, merchant and Snake Oil salesman. Robyn is the creator of the All Hallows Tarot, the Minute Deck, the Crowstone Oracle, and a whole bunch of other divinatory tools. She has at least 9 unfinished projects at any given time.
She likes to write bios because it forces her to look at herself through someones else's eyes for a change, and it's not that often she gets to refer to herself in the third person.
Her Etsy shop, where she sells her a lot of her art, is atWonderCaravan.
Note from Janet: Robyn and her husband, Bob, have experienced some financial difficulty after Bob's hospital stay for congestive heart failure. Robyn and Bob make most of their income from live performances and Renaissance Faires, so this recent health crisis has put them in a bit of a bind. Please support them on their GoFundMe site atthis link (I did). Thank you!
Finding and storing character names can be a fun yet fruitful way to spend some downtime. I use index cards to capture great names. Each card is dedicated to one letter—with one side listing first names, and the other side listing last names. I lump female and male names together since many can be interchangeable, but you could certainly have separate index cards for males and females. I then store the index cards (alphabetized) in a clear, quart-size Ziploc bag. Not only will the plastic protect the names from spills, smudges and muddy cat paws (you know what I’m talking about!), but it also provides portability so you can take them with you in your purse, briefcase, backpack, diaper bag—or right on the couch as you’re watching TV.
Without further ado, here’s ten ways and places and I’ve mined for great character names. I hope you find my list helpful!
1. TV/Movie Credits – My number one favorite way to find character names is via movie and TV credits! You know, those long lists naming the principle actors, casting directors, hairstylists, assistants, producers, propmasters, key grips and so on. If you’re looking for British names, look through the credits of shows like Poirot, Downton Abbey or Wallace and Gromit. Cartoons, anime and CGI movies/shows usually feature a plethora of Asiatic names in the artistic departments. Shows/movies filmed in Canada often have lots of French surnames. Unusual or old-fashioned names can often be found in the credits from movies/shows ranging from the 1930s-1970s. The credits from ABC’s Once Upon a Time filmed in both the U.S. and Canada, has a whole host of interesting, culturally-diverse names.
2. Public Spaces – Names are posted literally everywhere—bulletin boards, breakrooms, posters, marquees, billboards, you name it. Employee of the Month, missing person flyers, military honorees are often found on the walls of Wal-Mart, grocery stores and other shops.
3. Phone Book – Arguably the mother lode, if you don’t mind wading through thousands of names, you’ll likely find some suitable character names in your local phone book. Even better if you can get your hands on ones from other towns, states and even countries (for variety’s sake).
4. Name Books – Often consulted for baby names, but also for other moniker uses, name books are a treasure trove for fiction writers. My favorite catch-all name book is Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Names by K.M. Sheard, but you can also acquire books on African names, Chinese names, Welsh names, Magickal names, baby names using numerology, British surnames, Yiddish names, Cornish names, Irish names, Armenian names, Arabic names, Russian names and more.
5. Magazines and Newspapers – Bylines, editorial lists, quoted experts, pundits, criminals, political leaders—even ads and classifieds—magazines and newspapers burst with names of all sorts.
6. Books – When it comes to both non-fiction and fiction books, you’ll find lots of fascinating names in—of all places—the Acknowledgements section. That’s right: all those relatives, friends, colleagues and publisher’s employers—thanked to high heaven—offer dozens of catchy names for the sharp eye. With non-fiction, you’ll find additional names in cited sources and bibliographies. And, don’t forget that you can use author names, as well as combinations of fictional character names, too! (Just don’t rip off entire names, which goes without saying.) And what about encyclopedias, dictionaries and Who’s Who directories? Names galore!
7. Houses of Worship – Church bulletins, cookbooks, photo yearbooks—houses of worship often publish weekly, monthly or annual newsletters, announcement flyers, fundraising cookbooks, prayer lists and get-to-know-you photobooks. What great ways to find some cool names!
8. Mythology, Fairytales and Sacred Texts – From Greek mythology to the Bible, Hindu scriptures to Norse legends, cultural and symbolic names derived from these texts permeate literature—and we, too, can borrow from these rich sources when naming our characters.
9. Genealogy and Family Papers – Recently, one of my distant cousins did some extensive genealogical research—and shared her findings via a 20-page print-out that she distributed during a family reunion. Hundreds and hundreds of names were listed, not only revealing hidden family history gems, but also providing unusual ancestral names for fiction use. Some family members love to hoard letters, bills, pamphlets, newspaper announcements and other papers with sentimental value. Ask one of your older relatives if she has any saved papers from family members (sometimes, these are found in a huge, old family Bible)—or raid your grandma’s dusty attic (with her permission!). You never know what intriguing names you’ll come across in the process.
10. Everyday Conversations – Whether it’s your husband telling of crazy co-worker antics, Mom relating neighborhood gossip, your kids talking to their friends or an old school chum sharing “remember when….?” tales, name-dropping often occurs in such situations. Sometimes, you can even catch wind of an awesome name just by “accidentally” eavesdropping at the coffee shop, post office or hair salon. Just make sure you have a notebook with you at all times to jot them down before they vaporize! Or, better yet, that plastic bag filled with index cards dedicated to character names…