Mistrust of Gifts and Compliments
What a lovely, heartfelt Instagram post by my friend and Tarot colleague Amanda Donnelly (who drew our Snowland Deck's Director Emoting card today). She's a gem. (And, obviously, a great photographer, too!)
Although Christmas is either far in the past or far in the future, depending how you look at it, Father Christmas has made an appearance today as I pulled the Snowland Deck out to enjoy with my Colorado blizzard.
I have an awkward relationship with receiving gifts and compliments, although I love to give both. It may be a side effect of having too many "gifts" come with strings attached, or it could just be an extra dose of ego in that area. Sometimes I see receiving gifts as creating a power discrepancy, and I hate being beholden to anyone.
A few weeks ago, I prayed an earnest prayer that God would make me a better person. That is a work in progress and part of my healing and growth comes from recognizing unhealthy and unworthy thinking patterns. Mistrust of gifts and compliments is one that I need to work on. Of course there will be people who give them with ulterior motives, but I would not want to hurt even one genuine person in order to protect myself from a hundred disingenuous people. Besides, I'm smart enough to know the difference now, and if I fail, I'm strong enough to keep moving.
Thanks heaps for sharing, Amanda. You're a shining example of the King of Cups. (Visit Amanda on her Facebook page 78 Whispers at this link).
-- Janet
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