Naked Tarot: Sassy, Stripped-Down Advice

 

The world doesn’t need yet another boring-ass Tarot book regurgitating Waite, Wirth or Uncle Al. Seekers trying to learn the cards are frustrated and fed up—weary from sucking the dry breast of esoterica with no useful milk to show for it. The good news? No Golden Dawn snooze-fest or Crowley catatonia in Naked Tarot: Sassy, Stripped-Down Advice from the Cards!

 

Spiritual adventurers like you are burning for truth—hungry for ways to affect, and improve, your destiny. Tarot can deliver, but most books offer impractical, confusing, irrelevant and regurgitated card interpretations—causing seekers to throw up their hands to say “I just don’t get it!”

 

Your frustrations are over: with raw simplicity and outrageous honesty, I present a shitload of helpful, hilarious and relevant advice that will forever change how you see the cards—and finally equip you to understand, and read, the Tarot.

 

No punches pulled. No sugarcoating. It’s time to be forearmed, forewarned and foresighted. It’s time to get…naked.

 

 

Naked Tarot: Sassy, Stripped-Down Advice will provide (for each card):

• Stripped Down Overview
• Keywords
• Quote
• Challenge
• Gift
• Occupations/Vocations
• Disney Totem
• Animal Symbol
• Flower Essences
• Crystals/Gemstones
• Aromatherapy
• Body Parts/Systems and Health Issues
• Mystical Messenger
• Sabian Symbol
• Writing Prompt
• Affirmation
• Personifications and Embodiments
• Naked Advice for:
  -- Career
  -- Romance
  -- Parenting
  -- Spirituality
• Recommended Resources
• Spread ‘Em (Card layout that serves double-duty as journaling prompts)
• Sample Readings
• Bibliography
  

And the Court Cards? Original, deep psychological profiles off all 16 cards, including correlations with MBTI/Keirsey, ANSIR, the Enneagram, StrengthsFinder 2.0 and more.

 

 

Below is a sample chapter from Naked Tarot: Sassy, Stripped-Down Advice:

 

8 of Coins - Do It Again. And Again.

 

Stripped Down Overview: In the movie The Karate Kid, martial arts expert Mr. Miyagi instructed his young protégé to do menial tasks such as waxing the car (“wax on, wax off”). Ticked off that his mentor wasn’t teaching him to fight, but assigning him tedious cleaning jobs and repetitive tasks, the kid threw a tantrum. But what the master knew (that his student didn’t…until later) was that these seemingly monotonous jobs were teaching muscle memory—and the basic foundational moves of karate. Or let’s consider a prima ballerina: she doesn’t secure her position and dazzle crowds by sheer luck or even raw talent: behind each exquisite performance lies repetitious barre exercises, grueling pointe work and thousands upon thousands of arabesques, pirouettes, entrechats, fouettés and jetés. And this, my friends, is the core of the 8 of Coins: grunt work and routine. Focus, sustained concentration, dedication and practice—these lead to mastery. Want to become an expert? There are no shortcuts. Sure, some may learn and progress faster, but unless you’re, say, a piano prodigy by the age of five—you gotta put in the time and effort to become adept. 

 

Keywords: Occupation; Perfected Procedure; Formula; Step-by-Step; Practice; Patient Application; Reproduction; One Thing at a Time; Training; Craftsmanship; Constructive Habits; Reliable Employment; Uniformity; Detailed Preparation; Simulation; Chipping Away at an Intimidating Goal; Absorption in a Task; Rehearsal; Repetition

 

Personifications and Embodiments: Piano Scales; Repetitive Exercises; Factories; Assembly Lines; Stencils; Sketching; Paint-by-Numbers; Engraving

 

Quote: Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it. – Horace Mann

 

Challenge: Banality

 

Gift: Proficiency

 

Occupations/Vocations: Factory Worker; Craftsman; Engraver; Carpenter; Precision Machine Operator; Mass Manufacturer

 

Disney Character: The Seven Dwarves (Snow White)

 

Animal Totem: Spider

 

Flower Essence: Hornbeam (Bach)

 

Crystal/Stone: Black Spinel – Supports perseverance while fulfilling duties. Promotes disciplined, structured thinking. Focuses willpower on constructive approaches. Encourages modesty.

 

Aromatherapy: White Fir

 

Body Parts/Systems and Health Issues: Abnormal Cell Growth; Cancer

 

Mystical Messenger: Saint Eligius

 

Sabian Symbol: Pisces 15 – An officer drilling his men in a simulated attack.

 

Writing Prompt: A factory that manufactures custom pets

 

Affirmation: I discover what works—and do it often.

 

Naked Advice for the 8 of Coins

 

Career: In her excellent book for writers Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, author Anne Lamott tells the story of her older brother who, when he was ten, had a report to write. The topic was birds, and the teacher gave the students three months to finish. Except that her brother waited until the day before the report was due to begin. Panicked and overwhelmed, he sat at the kitchen table, surrounded by unopened books on birds, reams of paper and pencils. Their Dad put his arm around the son’s shoulders and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird”. As a writer, I can’t tell you how many times this story has encouraged me over the years. In fact, as I was writing this mammoth book, the excruciating, crushing enormity of my ambition felt like trying to level a mountain with a butter knife and trowel. I’d tell myself “Card by card, Janet. Just take it card by card.” Like a spider returns to spin the same web design even after wind or human tears it down, so we go back to our task—again and again—to do what we do best. Is it always easy? Hell no! Sometimes boring? Hell yes! But this is what expertise looks like, and arises from: sitting our ass down, practicing our craft and relentlessly pursuing mastery. It’s showing up, refusing to “call it in” and doing the job…all because our integrity demands it.

 

Romance: Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are solid, fulfilling relationships. You’re making steady progress, so keep applying what you know, and have learned, about romantic satisfaction. Now’s not the time to go on cruise control, however: just like a healthy garden needs attention and nourishment, so, too, does your partnership or method for attracting a mate. It’s important not to focus on what seems to work for your neighbors or colleagues, because you’re only glimpsing the public facet of their relationship—not necessarily what goes on behind closed doors. Avail yourself to books, podcasts or blogs about romance and attraction, especially if they resonate, because learning additional ways to develop stronger bonds can enhance what you already have. If you’re Facebook relationship status says “It’s complicated”, it’s time to make it more straightforward and simplistic (if only in your head).  

 

Parenting: If you have a son, nephew, grandson—or have babysat young boys—you probably know Thomas the Tank Engine and crew like the back of your hands. Sir Topham Hatt, the Controller of the railway system on the Island of Sodor, encourages and praises the trains when they are “responsible, reliable and really useful”. When the 8 of Coins chugs into your reading, it’s time to evaluate what it means to be those three “R”s—and teach it to the younger set in both word and deed. Consistent practice and dogged dependability will outshine raw talent (and privilege) most times, so assign tasks of incremental difficulty to give kiddos a sense of confidence and accomplishment. How they perform the “little” things when young (e.g. homework and chores) can translate to how they go on to approach adult responsibilities. Likewise, show them how building upon past efforts can transform into a large creation—so provide jigsaw puzzles, Lego or Erector sets, crocheting supplies, quilting paraphernalia or paint-by-number kits for them to use.

 

Spirituality: With the assembly line, Henry Ford changed manufacturing history. Before his ingenious idea, many people would converge, all working together to complete one car (much like the 3 of Coins approach). But with an assembly line, stationed workers waited for the partially assembled car to reach them via conveyer belt. Each person performed one job…and one job only. Presently, assembly lines are still used, but robotic automation has taken over for humans. Sometimes, our spiritual practice is best approached by sections or compartments, especially if we yearn to see growth. For me, I use the Four Elements approach: if I’m too much in my head with thoughts, ideas and creative plans (Air)—with an abundance of passion, curiosity and energy (Fire)—I know from experience that I need grounding with nature, food and sensuality (Earth), as well as emotional connection, self-care, family time and long, hot baths (Water). Determine what’s lacking, then take small steps to incorporate them into your routine. Over time, you feel more balanced and whole when you address your spiritual “pie” one slice at a time.

 

Recommended Resource: New Yankee Workshop (TV Show); Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals (TV Show); The Weaver by Vincent van Gogh; Ghostly Gourds by Normal Rockwell

 

Card Layout: Personal Stamp Spread

 

1. What is a defining hallmark of my work?

2. What has led to this trademark?

3. What can I do to enhance it even further?

4. What is likely to cause procrastination or decreased resolve?

5. How can I best prevent or cope with such a scenario?

6. Who or what needs my personal stamp most right now?

7. How can I bring my special touch to this situation?

8: Final Advice

 

 

Praise for Naked Tarot

 

Janet Boyer’s newest take on the Tarot is sharp and saucy as F*&#. A few reasons you should strip down with Naked Tarot? 1. The correspondences are current and varied (I love interconnection!). 2. The face time given to the Minor Arcana and the Court Cards. Courts are difficult. This book lays them bare. 3. It’s a fun read. Thanks to Janet’s conversational flair, reading Naked Tarot is like chatting with a friend over tea. No. Make that a hot pink cosmo.—Natalie Zaman, Wandering Witch and author of Magical Destinations of the Northeast and Color and Conjure

 

In Naked Tarot, Janet Boyer leverages her significant experience with Tarot to break down each of the cards into impressive detail. While other books may tell you how each card’s meaning changes with different questions and points of curiosity, Naked Tarot does it an utterly unique and sassy (sometimes, NSFW) way, calling up contexts and references I haven’t seen in other books. From using the Tarot to explore a personality, find a career, solve a problem and deepen your spirituality—to divining the future and even discovering your Disney totem—Naked Tarot covers all the bases. It’s a significant undertaking by someone well worthy of the task.— Tierney Sadler, Author/Creator of the Deck of 1000 Spreads

 

Naked Tarot is the fresh voice of contemporary Tarot practice, leading the field toward greater accessibility. It speaks with 21st century sensibilities. Janet Boyer tailors her book to modern culture, organized to fit seamlessly into the busy, hectic, and please-just-give-it-to-me-straight ethos of today. Yet, Naked Tarot deceives somewhat with its light humor: this is a serious, learned text that transfers the benefits of Ms. Boyer’s depth and breadth of Tarot knowledge. The reader will digest every line—because it is just that accessible—and leave knowing more about the cards than most intermediate Tarot readers. In short, Naked Tarot does a phenomenal job of teaching Tarot. I love this book and had so much fun reading it. I laughed and smiled throughout. —  Benebell Wen, author of Holistic Tarot (a much more boring book than Naked Tarot, I’m afraid to say) and The Tao of Craft: Fu Talismans and Casting Sigils in the Eastern Esoteric Tradition

 

Janet Boyer’s writing style is blunt and lively, her knowledge of Tarot based on years of study and experience. I knew I was in for a treat when I read Naked Tarot—and her newest book did not disappoint. Janet conveys the essence of each card in a way that is easy to grasp and remember, largely because of her outrageous honesty. Even experienced readers will come away with a refreshing and novel way to view the cards To paraphrase the cinematic Mary Poppins, Janet provides us with that “spoon full of sugar” that helps the Tarot medicine go down.  — Anthony Louis, author of Llewellyn's Complete Book of Tarot: A Comprehensive Guide, Tarot Beyond the Basics, Tarot Plain and Simple and other books

 

Janet Boyer’s Naked Tarot is a comprehensive, straight-talking, irreverent guide to the Tarot—and then some! This isn’t the same old typical Tarot book you’ve already read so many times before. Instead, Janet provides a fresh overview of Tarot, including insightful interpretations on the suits and cards, as well as new, thought-provoking and useful correspondences (flower essences, animal totems, spirits, Sabian symbols, crystals/stones and more)—not to mention a spread for every card. I know that I will actually USE this book, not just read it. Janet has outdone herself; in fact, Naked Tarot may be her best book yet. — Judika Illes, author of Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells, Encyclopedia of Spirits, Encyclopedia of Mystics, Saints & Sages and other books of magic.

 

So much for the prettified and slightly vague Tarot books of the past. Janet Boyer takes the cards into dangerous territory in her latest book with whip smart advice and a generous helping of humor. Forget the chanting and dewy-eyed mysticism, Naked Tarot speaks to you like a best friend--straight, to the point...and will help you bury the body later. — Stacey Graham, co-creator of the Zombie Tarot and author of Haunted Stuff: Demonic Dolls, Screaming Skulls, and Other Creepy Collectibles, The Girls' Ghost Hunting Guide and other titles

 

Vibrant, witty, and full of wisdom, Janet Boyer’s newest book, Naked Tarot, is a gourmet feast for those hungering for Tarot insights. Her words magically and magnetically guide us to consume her instructions and follow her astute pointers, helping us discover our core connections with each card. Because of Janet’s upbeat tone, Naked Tarot is an easy read—yet the content is meaningfully deep and esoterically perceptive. Her reader-friendly discussions on how to use the cards are thoughtfully detailed and well-organized. Positively delightful, the book  assists beginning readers in developing a firm foundation for building their Tarot practice, while also providing tools enabling the advanced reader to soar to new mystical heights. — Kooch Daniels, author Tarot at a Crossroads, Tarot d’Amour, Awakening the Chakras and Other Metaphysical Books

 

We loved Janet Boyer’s new book—a modern, clever twist on Tarot that’s chock full of irreverent wisdom. Wickedly witty, piercingly perceptive and delightfully snarky, Naked Tarot will have you laughing out loud. This savvy Queen of Swords cuts straight through to the truth—and oh boy, does Janet know her Tarot! She’s gifted at conveying human strengths and frailties with her interpretations, correlations and spreads for each card. — The Psychic Twins (Linda and Terry Jamison), world renowned psychics and authors of Psychic Intelligence: Tune in and Discover the Power of Your Intuition

Naked Tarot is a bold, brassy, in-your-face look at the world of Tarot cards and how they relate to humanity in all its glory--including its sexuality, its faults, and its quirks—embracing the beautiful, stark reality of it all. The cards are stripped clean of a “G” rating, no punches pulled. The world of the Tarot and our nitty-gritty lives are laid bare for brutal examination. Janet Boyer’s Naked Tarot is one of the boldest, most honest looks at Tarot interpretation yet. You'll either be laughing your ass off, nodding your head enthusiastically in agreement…or you will be left open-mouthed, newly baptized into what's commonly called “The Real World”. —  Amythyst Raine, author of Tarot for Grownups, Tarot: A Witch’s Journey and The Gray Witch’s Grimoire

Straightforward, different and full of useful advice for the Tarot student seeking new perspectives on the cards. Naked Tarot is refreshingly practical! — Melanie Marquis, author of Modern Spellcaster's Tarot, The Witch's Bag of Tricks, A Witch's World of Magick

Janet Boyer’s latest work, Naked Tarot, is destined to be an instant classic! Truly a gift to Tarot readers everywhere, Naked Tarot contains endless juicy contemporary information and associations. I see this book as Janet's Magnum Opus—and a must-have Tarot textbook. This is NOT another dry Tarot “cookbook”, listing the same out-dated keywords and correspondences. Whether you’re a brand new Tarot reader or an old hand, Naked Tarot will help you connect with the Tarot like never before! — Dax Carlisle, DD, CHt, CTM, President of The Tarot Guild       

 

This ain’t yer mama’s Tarot book! Janet Boyer’s newest effort—Naked Tarot: Sharp and Sassy Advice From the Cards—is without a doubt one of the best “boot camp” Tarot books I’ve seen in a long, long time. No frills and no excess verbiage, no mystical waving about of incense or charged crystals, this is a straight up, in-your-face approach to learning the cards. The blunt cleverness of the descriptions combined with snarky, wickedly funny practical applications will bring both a smile to your face and a clear, precise image for all 78 cards. If you have a problem with language (read: the occasional F-bomb), this likely isn’t your book. If you want a dusty reference book that takes itself way too seriously, Naked Tarot is definitely not for you. If you want to have a deep understanding of the cards without having to wade through stacks of inconsequential details, you’ve struck pay dirt.  After all, you don’t need to know how to build a watch in order to tell time. I consider Naked Tarot a wonderful new resource and, at the risk of fan girl gushing, I can’t recommend it highly enough!  — Shannon MacLeod, author of The Celtic Cross Spread: Cutting to the Chase and co-creator of the ShadowFox Tarot                                                               

Janet Boyer's newest book Naked Tarot is a hard hitting, belly-laugh inducing, no nonsense guide to Tarot. Its audience, from beginners through experienced readers, can aim for the underbelly with their clients with the help of this book. Drilling straight to the core Naked Tarot enables the Tarot to reveal depth, hurt and hope in a contemporary language. It broadens the reader's horizons with innovative spreads and correspondences--including Australian Flower Essences. I couldn’t put in down; it was like reading a racy Tarot thriller on a rollercoaster! For example, Janet’s description of the Knight of Swords includes the "first rumblings of revolution with spray cans and crowbars". Naked Tarot deserves to be a key Tarot text for those readers with a contemporary, direct style. —  Jenne Perlstein MBBS, BSW, AASW Cert IV TAE, Prof. Member Tarot Guild of Australia, Cert Appl.Astrol. TarotAstroCounselling.com.au

Comments

[Angie Turner]

Absolutely, this is a book I'd read! Can't wait til this one is done, Janet. So glad you didn't let the bastards wear you down and that you continue to illuminate the Tarot darkness. ;-)

[Janet Boyer]

Awww, thanks, Angie! I'm a bit surprised at how much excitement this book seems to be generating. :o)

I've decided to push up my book's deadline (my awesome publisher actually allows that!), and will aim to have it done by July 30...which means it SHOULD be out in October-November of this year. YAY!

[WingedTigerOwl]

When is this book going to be published and available to buy? I would like to read it.

[Janet Boyer]

Hi WTO! I'm working on Naked Tarot now. It will be out sometime next year from Dodona Books. :o) Thanks for your interest and I'm glad you're looking forward to it!